When Cody and I were still in the throngs of long-distance dating, I had the chance of visiting his hometown, which is a good 45-minute drive from Hot Springs, Arkansas. Every time I would visit, though, I made sure we would have a chance to walk up and down the streets of quaint little downtown Hot Springs.
One day, Cody decided he wanted to show me a little more of Hot Springs and walked us a whole block over to where some of the trails begin. He wanted to show me where he used to hike as a teenager – but it happened to be a little off-path, and this Chicago girl didn’t really like to climb. But I did it anyway because, you know, he’s a country boy and I was into that – and I wanted him into me, too.
As I was huffing and puffing my way up the “mountain” (after being in the Rockies, it’s tough to call the Hot Springs hills mountains), I remember Cody looking back, grinning, and saying, “Come on, city girl.” I also very clearly remember my response – motivation that came out of no where, a glare of the eyes, and a sudden increase in stride and pace until I pushed passed him. He laughed and laughed – and although I didn’t show it, my heart was laughing, too. We have brought up that day many a time, but it surprisingly did not come out during this last hiking and camping trip through the Rockies this last week.
Instead
I heard things like:
“You’re a champ. Thank you for being here.”
“Ania, take it slow. I don’t need you hitting your head on a rock because you’re feeling dizzy.” (At 12,000 ft. high near Granite Pass, on our way to Longs Peak)
“You’re being stubborn. We can stop here and enjoy the view just fine. We don’t have to follow [our two friends who just plowed forward].”
“Here, I’ll hold you until the wind gust passes.”
And one of my favorites that I heard during a chill hike through the forest: “Nah, that was all her.” (This was in response to one of our friends asking if the business idea I was discussing was a result of the lectures Cody purchased a few months ago about starting -and maintaining- a successful business.) I think I like that Cody said it because it shows how much my husband respects my own individual thoughts, ideas, and subsequent actions and gives credit where credit’s due.
We may have simply gotten better at speaking words of affirmation at this point in our relationship, but I just wanted to take a moment to appreciate his appreciation and patience with me. Eight years ago, Cody may have been motivating me to climb a little higher while simultaneously heckling me, but this time I was the one pulling us higher onto the mountain. We work together that way – when one’s tired, the other carries, but motivates the other to get back up soon. I guess that’s what keeps us moving, one foot in front of the other..
Let’s discuss!
Wives – What’s your favorite way of affirming your husband and also being affirmed in return?
Wives in Training (W.I.T.) and Men – Read Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. It will totally transform how you perceive both yourself and your current and future partner in terms of how you give and receive love. Comment what your love language is below!