Year 4: The Ladies Edge

When I don’t feel like it or don’t think I have the energy, I’m going to do the damn thing. Because I can either be okay with the hard choice of disappointing myself, or I can be okay with the hard choice of showing up and doing it anyway. It’s up to me. But I can’t dare complain later when I didn’t show up before. After all, isn’t that what marriage is like some days?

Last year around April, I was invited by one of my good friends Katie to try out The Ladies Edge – a workout program that I was so grateful she found following the tragic death of Brad, her best friend and soon-to-be fiance. I saw how much it was an anchor for her: a place to release the grief and anger and find community and endorphins that would pick her up and carry her on. Though I found different reasons to join, I reap benefits that I had never expected to receive.

Why am I going to talk about a workout program on this WifeReflections blog?

How could I not?

Exercise is obviously good for me, personally, but whoa has it amped up the married life.

I am confident in my skin (yay fitting into clothes better), which lends itself to other activities that make for a happy wife. I’m also pretty sure that Cody finds it attractive that I can be physically stronger than expected with these lanky arms (especially when we were moving all those heavy boxes!).

TLDR?
The program works for me and my marriage. Cody even breaks a sweat with me and has admitted it’s a solid program. I have zero intention of stopping and my body is thanking me for it. It has taught me to make time for myself, my marriage, and my health. All three of these things are necessary for me to feel joy on a daily basis. To NOT make them a priority would be a grave mistake.

We were staying in a shepherd’s hut in Lasswade, Scotland. The wi-fi was strong enough, we had our resistance bands and workout clothes and got it done. We’re not saying y’all are losers with our L hands – it’s just the way we show that we completed the “live” workout the coach posts every Saturday morning.

Want more details? Want to join me, like I took Katie up on her invitation? Read on.

As a teacher and general person trying to succeed, it was stupid hard for me to find a consistent workout routine. I tried Couch to 5k (which was AWESOME and helped me run my first and favorite: Gaza 5k), but it was still basically winter and conditions were not conducive to running without my ears feeling like they were on fire from the bitter wind. Ah, Chicago.

Katie told me about The Ladies Edge (TLE). I tried it, and I fell in love. I’m part of the program more than a year later; in fact, I paid for Lifer status, which basically means I no longer pay monthly. I’m in it for as long as the program will exist because I believe in the mission and the coach. A year later, I’m still working out consistently, still getting sore, and still reaping the benefits of moving my body in ways that surprise even me.

Here are some of the main reasons I’m in this thing for life and why I think I’m one of the hundreds of women who are able to stick with it:

  1. The workouts are only 23 minutes long, 6 days a week. I just cannot make an excuse for not including ONLY 23 minutes of HIIT-like exercise into my daily routine. Although the workout itself does not necessarily “fit” into the recommended 30-minutes/5 days a week suggestion by the American Heart Association, the way I see it, 23 minutes + the time it takes me to go to the copy machine twice a day from my third floor classroom + walking to the train + walking around the classroom = heart healthy. It’s also not beyond me to start holding a plank while students are working on the assigned activity.


  2. The community of women is unlike anything I’ve ever been a part of. I went an all-girls high school, so I know the power when women decide we want to change something, or celebrate something, or fight against something. I also know how disruptive it can be when a group of girls decides to bash the mission without having a reasonable conversation first. There will always be women who don’t feel like they belong and, as a result, disrupt the peace already present.

    What I love about TLE is that Michelle Bishop, the coach and founder of TLE, is very adamant about “protecting the house.” There is a zero-tolerance policy of bullying, shaming, or other negative-Nancy decisions.

    It’s quite amazing what happens in the Facebook group when women know that their best is expected: no pity parties, no complaining, no bashing another woman for her life’s choices. When something terrible happens, we post about it, but it’s for support – not because we can’t handle it, but because we know we can handle it better with our tribe behind us.


  3. We have women and men from all walks of life — young moms, “Golden Bishes” in their 60s, college kids, supportive husbands, engaged and married women, women who have heartbreakingly buried their babies, men who are secure enough in themselves to take the program and the empowerment of women seriously… I could go on. I am so grateful that there are women who have been pregnant and post-partum in the group, because when it’s my turn, I know I have solid women to turn to if I have questions or if I’m scared or if… the list goes on. The only rule? Hold others accountable and they’ll make sure you’re posting your sweaty selfie, too. It’s incredible what happens when you don’t show up for a few days. Somebody notices!!


  4. I feel better. I have freedom from guilt. Cheat meals don’t exist for me because there’s not a moment I need to “sneak” a cookie or hide a caramel macchiato. I seek balance. I have the cookie, but I also make sure I’m giving my body the fuel it needs to be energized and strong and ready for the next workout. I can do these workouts at any time, but it’s suggested I do one a day. Monday: chest, Tuesday: back, Wednesday: shoulders, Thursday: arms, Friday: legs, Saturday: live (all-body). Waking up at 5:15am every school day was admittedly hard sometimes, but since I met on a Zoom conference link with women across the country getting up as well, it made it much easier!




  5. Perhaps the biggest change I’ve noticed in myself isn’t necessarily the physical: it’s the mental grit. I already had it, but it’s different now. It’s more fine-tuned. I’m gonna write this damn novel because I’m going to keep showing up, just like I do for my workouts. I‘m going to be a damn good teacher because I can do these pushups, so I can plan these wicked awesome lessons. I’m going be a giving wife even when I’m tired because I know it’s worth it.

    When I don’t feel like it or don’t think I have the energy, I’m going to do the damn thing. Because I can either be okay with the hard choice of disappointing myself, or I can be okay with the hard choice of showing up and doing it anyway. It’s up to me. But I can’t dare complain later when I didn’t show up before. After all, isn’t that what marriage is like some days?


    If you’re still here and would like to try The Ladies Edge FOR FREE, click here. The price of $27/month will go away on June 8, 2019. Get it now!

Year 2, Week 25.5: Work Ethic, for the Record.

While I was half-way through my evaluations of 100+ student writing assessments, I could feel his two blue eyes boring into mine. As if his beckoned mine to attention, I felt my eyebrows begin a dance of surprise, and then suspicion.

“What’s up?” I asked tentatively.
“Nothing. I’m just loving you.”

Who says that? And why does it make me so awkward? All the romance novels I’ve read get this all wrong. It’s like his marriage proposal all over again. When he didn’t laugh at my joke, I realized it was for real. Cue butterflies and sweaty palms.

“..Okayy.. That’s really sweet, but I’m not really doing anything worthy of such an outpouring at the moment.” (God’s grace, anyone? Receiving love when you feel you didn’t do anything to earn it?)

He just kept looking and smiling. He eventually walked away and I felt like I could breathe again. If I had only been drinking red wine at the time, maybe I would have been a bit more suave in my reception of his affection? I don’t want him to feel like it’s not appreciated and dissuade such a courtship.

And then this happened again the next day! But this time, as I was into my 17th essay of the day with bedtime approaching, he had something to say, which I can work with.

“You work really hard.”

It meant a lot to hear him say that. I had been grading so many essays in such a short amount of time, that to hear him acknowledge it seemed to give me even more energy to finish. With a grin, I agreed with him, and affirmed, “Yeah, we do work really hard. I don’t think we’d be together if we didn’t have the work ethic we do.” Future Cody and Ania, I hope you remember that praise goes way further than criticism, especially when babies come into the mix. 

Real talk for a second though – I’m also secretly starting to get a little nervous. This whole work ethic/working a lot thing hasn’t just been going on in my own life – he has been getting interrupted sleep himself, having to check for code bugs at midnight.. 3am.. 5am.. It’s been cute to hear him figure out ways to stay in bed but also keep the bright light of broken code away from my sleeping eyes. I also know, however, that the boy is human and the boy needs sleep. SO between the two of us working longer hours than normal, this Christmas will be a very welcome break. This may sound facetious, but I do not want to feel like the computer, or work, or our individual pursuits, are coming between us. But this is what we do – we work our asses off in the winter, hustling among 6 different jobs (between the 2 of us) – so that we can buy plane tickets to explore the world. We climb the mountains with 60 lbs packs up the last 1,000 ft. so that we can enjoy the panoramas together. It’s exhausting, but ultimately worth it.

And, Jesus, it now occurs to me that if I replace “computer” with “future baby,” this sounds like a foreshadowing of what’s to come in a couple years. What’s an added 20 lbs of smiles and poop and cuddles? We can do that.

I want to finish with this.

Let the record state that, in this week of our marriage, Cody did say the following words:

“You know, it’s actually a good thing that I can still function and wake up at weird hours of the night. A baby will need that. I can be that.”

Yes, you surely can be, Cody, baby. 😉