You guys. I had a huge realization this week. But before I get into that –
First of all, “No Bad Days” took off like lightning. In just three days, we had over 2,000 readers fall in love with Katie and Brad’s story, and more are getting to know them as the days progress. The power of love and courage and strength and resilience and hope is alive because people seek what they most want to manifest in themselves.
It’s like I always tell Cody: the world is okay because the majority of audiences in movie theaters are still rooting for the good guy to bring justice to the bad one.
To see Katie’s strength-despite what could very easily and understandably be crippling for her plans, dreams, and desires- is an example for all of us to realize that great loss that will inevitably come in our lives but that it is our choice to believe in faith, hope, and love anyway, finding a way to smile through the tears. Kissy faces optional.
Thank you to those who shared (and continue to share) this story. It is one I was humbled and honored to share because I think it’s so important. Living with loss is something we don’t talk about all the time, but it’s happening more than ever. Personally, I think we’re all traumatized and just kind of waiting for the ‘next’ bad news instead of reveling in the good that’s happening right in front of our very noses. Especially the kind we can create for ourselves.
Cody creates his own joy all the time. Sure, I’m the butt of most of his jokes, but they’re relatively harmless. Having three older brothers to tease me all the time only kind of messed me up, so I think I can handle the sly jabs. Maybe that’s what made him comfortable to begin with. [Am I onto something big here? Better stop thinking about it and step away 😉 ]
Sometimes, I laugh at the jokes and give it right back to him. This is when Cody is most happy. He loves word play probably more than anyone else I’ve ever known (Shakespeare might beat him by a few hundred jokes, but we have longer life-spans now, so I think Cody has a chance).
Sometimes, I groan and roll my eyes. His puns are really, really bad that they’re good, and I think I’m his wife because I’m the only one who will really start giggling when we’re out with friends. In fact, I can confirm it because his arm will often wrap around my back when he hears my laugh in the midst of cricket-silence.
But lately, I’ve been really, really not into his jokes. In fact, there hasn’t even been an eye-roll, or sigh, or “Seriously?” Instead, I’ll kind of just nod my head zombily (it’s a word now, okay?) and walk away.
AND NOW I KNOW WHY.
I’ve been burnt out. Severely, totally, “please do not add another thing onto my list because I might implode” burnout. This has happened plenty before, but now I had a solid two months of gottagetthisdoneorelse anxiety lighting my ass and no rest to cool the poor cheeks.
It’s only now, with time – time with God, time with friends, time with myself, time with Cody, time with my family, time with nature – that I find myself slowly walking out of the fog that is detached, depressed, unmotivated, irritated, and unproductive Ania.
And the first visible sign of recovery was a few days ago when I laughed heartily at Cody’s teasing and gave it right back. I could tell he was glad his Ania was back, too, judging by the quick wrap-around hug, twinkle in his eye, and kiss on my hand.
It’s good to be back.
