It is so easy to become disillusioned with society’s ideas of a fulfilling single life, especially when you’re married. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
My antidote? Constant vigilance, prayer, and preventative maintenance.
But that’s not really what I want to discuss in this week’s reflection.
I was able to go to a Pentatonix concert this last week and it was amazing!! I hadn’t expected an opening performance by Us the Duo, but I was really glad they did. Two young 20-somethings took the stage and introduced themselves as a married couple, about to sing their favorite song in the whole world. They proudly shared that the lyrics of the song are their wedding vows. They painted a beautiful picture to the audience of them singing to each other in a wedding gown and black tux. The song itself, “No Matter Where You Are,” is a beautiful reminder for couples what kind of commitment and sacrifice marriage requires in order to survive. What really got to me, though, was the fact that an arena full of people were witness to a strong married couple essentially renewing their vows in front of them. And applauding. I swear I had to squint my eyes to keep the tears from spilling over. In a culture that makes light of “starter marriages” and echoes “(s)he wasn’t perfect but I’m worth it and deserve the best, so it’s his(her) loss,” it was so so so refreshing to witness this celebration of marriage.
Basically, it made me want to hug my husband instead of looking over at the single guy in the next row over. And we need more of that culture.
To be honest, I think that’s why I keep writing my Wife Reflections. I want to be a voice in the culture that raises marriage up instead of bashing it as the lesser life choice. I can be independent and strong and a feminist but still allow myself to melt into cuddles that make me feel safe. I can make my own decisions and pay my own bills but still contribute to a joint account that pays for the roof above our heads. I can wear high heels that make me just a little bit taller than my husband when we go out and still enjoy him taking the lead on a conversation about life insurance. It doesn’t make me any less of a woman for choosing to sacrificially share my life.
So I guess I keep writing these Wife Reflections so I can show that divorce doesn’t have to linger over a couple’s heads like a storm that’s about to let loose. It doesn’t even have to scare a couple from considering marriage in the first place. It’s hard work, but it is so worth it. I hope I show the real side, but I also hope the magic shines through, too.
Singleness announces to the world, “I’m not perfect, but I’m worth it.”
Marriage adds, “I’m not perfect, and neither is he. But he’s worth it.”