We’ve been married over a year and a half now. I still feel like a newlywed.
We’ve been dating exclusively for 8 years. I still feel I don’t know who I am well enough to tell him everything he wants to know about my likes, dislikes, and dreams.
For over a decade now, I’ve known he was a guy I’d always want to know.
But I also know how quickly people can change. So. Preventative maintenance time.
Directions: Write down the things about yourself that are true right now. Not what you’ve told people for most of your life, or even what you told your significant other when you first started dating. Who are you right now? For 10 minutes, write down your quirks, likes, dislikes, and anything in between. Then share.
Be open-minded. Be prepared to hear things you didn’t think your partner would say about themselves. Don’t be surprised to hear that your own thoughts and beliefs have changed.
You are ever-growing. To check in with the partner you swore to be with for the rest of your natural life is necessary, especially if you don’t want to wake up one day and wonder “Who -are- you?”
Start by asking yourself, “Who am I?”
Then it’s up to you to keep choosing the person your significant other has become. Chances are, the parts you don’t like about him/her reflect something about you: maybe you need to see things from their perspective a bit more, or tell some more stories about how certain experiences have shaped you. Either way, nobody just changes over night. It’s a long process that we tend to ignore, or take for granted. Maybe it’s time to start checking in more regularly.