November 2016

Year 2, Week 21: Don’t Stop Asking Questions

I heard so many great things about last week’s post, written by the husband himself. We so appreciate the kind comments, and I know Cody was especially buoyed by the encouraging words. In fact, I heard so many awesome things about Wife Reflections that I think we’ll just keep this gravy train flowing for as long as we can.

This means that, even when I’m a mom, I’ll be trying to reflect as a wife raising a child, and not just become all-consumed with a singular role. We’ll see how that goes. Is it even possible? Only time will tell. P.S. I’m not pregnant, but see how the topic keeps coming up? Hard to ignore.

Switching gears to this week’s reflection… It occurs to me that, when Cod and I were first getting to know each other, 21 questions was all the rage. So there’s this questionnaire thing floating around on Facebook that I thought would actually be kind of fun to do with Cody. Apparently he’s supposed to just answer the question without any forethought.

At first, the answers are shallow and uncomfortable, but slowly pick up speed. It’s cool to see myself from my husband’s perspective sometimes. It’s also revealing to see how much he’s still unsure of, even after all this time.

It’s a great reminder to never ever ever stop asking questions.

What is something I always say? “Oh uhm”
What makes me happy? Cats
What makes me sad? Feeling like I have the Case of the “Shoulds”
How tall am I? 5′ 10″/10.5:
What’s my favorite thing to do? Nap
What do I do when you’re not around? How would I know? Play on Facebook? Write? Play piano. You teach students to play piano when I’m not around normally.
If I become famous, what will it be for? Uh, pia–ehh.. Hm.. I bet if you became famous, it would be something you’re doing in the classroom. Somehow getting picked up by a media outlet. It would either be previous students like talking about how you teach differently or maybe you start teaching other teachers. I think it’d be more through education because you touch more lives through education than you do writing or piano right now.
What makes you proud of me? There’s so much that makes me proud of you. I was proud watching you sing [the national anthems]. That’s my beautiful wife. I bragged how cool it was to watch you go through the process of writing on a consistent basis and how amusing it was to see you exclaim how surprised you were that your characters were doing something you didn’t expect, even though you are the one writing it. The fact that I can visualize your characters as if I’m actually reading the book.. I’m supremely impressed.
What is my favorite food? Cheesecake
What is my favorite restaurant? Any with lights and good-smelling soap in the bathroom.
Where is my favorite place to visit? That’s a hard one for us. I don’t think Hawaii was your favorite place. I don’t think Costa Rica was either. Was Greece? You never seem as excited about Greece when I talk about it. Places you’ve been without me? Or maybe it just seems you’re more excited because I’m sad I wasn’t there with you. You say the mountains. You’re always saying the mountains. I don’t know if I believe you. But if I had to answer, I’d say the mountains, because that’s what you say.
If I could go anywhere, where would it be? Heaven.
You get a phone call that I am in trouble, who am I with? If you were realistically going to get into trouble with the law, supposedly, I mean like, the obvious go-to is either Vanessa or Kristen. One-on-one, you’re fine. But in big groups, you get antic-cky. You want to show off. So I think back to the time when you were out with Halyna, Stacie, Emily, Ashli, and Angela.
How do I annoy you? Ugh, let me count the ways. …I don’t want to answer this question. Why hurt feelings needlessly right now?
Who is my favorite actor? All I can think is Magic Mike.
Who is my celebrity crush? See above.

Year 2, Week 20: Shebear and Stability

Since my NaNoWriMo project is almost half-way over, I’m busy writing to reach my goal of writing a 50,000 word novel in November. So it’s time for another #HusbandReflection. Here’s Cody!

I’ve been at my “new” job for a little over a year, and I recently proposed a somewhat radical new business idea to our partners. While we’re going through the exploratory phase for this idea, I’ve entered another time of career uncertainty and am super appreciative of the stability of the home life that Ania and I create together.

From early on in our relationship, we realized that we both value stability. After a series of rollercoaster relationships, I’d learned that I much a prefer a steady high to an exhilarating path of high-highs and low-lows. Stability is all-the-more important because we each push a little harder in our careers than is normally expected, taking a bit more risk in exchange for more genuine and—hopefully—more rewarding careers.

But how did we get here?

Continue reading “Year 2, Week 20: Shebear and Stability”

Year 2, Week 19: No more “Someday”

Freshman year of high school: “I dream of writing a best-selling novel.”
Senior year of high school: “Before I’m thirty, I hope I’ll have published a book.”
Sophomore year of college: “I’ll start writing when I have more time.”
Senior year of college: “…What is time, really? Is it real? I’ll write when I’m older.”
First year out of college: “I have to focus on being a good teacher, first.”
A week ago: “What if I become pregnant and I only have nine months to write a book before I really don’t have time to write? I am so sick of saying ‘Someday.’ Might as well just do this thing.”

So I started writing a novel, using NaNoWriMo as a guide, mentor, and structured stress motivator. I was tired of Cody always asking every New Years Eve, “So.. New Year’s resolution.. writing a book this time?” Supportive husbands, amiright? I kept telling him that, someday, when I put my mind to it, I’ll do it. I’m happy to report that I am writing an average of 1,679 words a day, for a grand total so far of 11,756 words. I’m thinking of updating my progress here. Don’t ask what’s driving me to write because I think it’s really just my past self’s prayers for future and present me. I’m genuinely enjoying the writing process and have WifeReflections to thank for that.

Very seriously, the messages of encouragement and validation that I have received from so many different people from totally different walks of life have kept me updating this blog week by week. Who knew people would be interested in the realities of my relationship? It is so humbling and magnificent to experience. Thank you.

I don’t mean to make this post seem so short and flippant, but I really need to sleep and prove that I met my word count so Cody will give me my phone back. It’s so past my bed time. Maybe I’ll be so busy working on this “book” that Cody will have to update his very own husband reflection next week. Stay tuned!